How to get sh*t done when it feels like the odds are stacked

I’ve been getting a lot of feedback lately about how I make motherhood and business look easy. As if I’m perfectly balancing the two, and have it all figured out. I’m going to let you in on a big secret though: Honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t have it figured out. At least not everything. I just hope that by sharing my experience, and the things I do have figured out, it makes this journey of combining motherhood with entrepreneurship a little easier for you. So when someone asked me how I manage stress and maintain productivity, I knew I needed to share my tips for stress-free productivity for moms with you.

So that’s what this blog post is about. We’re going to cover things like:

• Why it’s okay that your dreams and day-to-day changes as a new mom and entrepreneur.
• Work-life balance, or rather, integration, as a mompreneur.
• Work habits I maintain for stress-free productivity.
• Things I do for myself to stay motivated.
• What stress-free productivity looks like in action.
• And how to recenter and maintain productivity when you’re feeling frazzled.

Things change when you become a mom as an entrepreneur

You were lied to when they said you could continue on life as normal when you become a mom.

I realize that this is a big statement. Let me explain.

First, yes, you can live life. You can do things you enjoy doing—things you’ve always enjoyed. But no one tells you that you might just not enjoy the same things anymore.

Things that changed when I had my first baby:

• my available time and energy
• my boundaries
• my priorities
• my body, of course
• my vision
• my work style
• my preferred movement and workouts
• my hobbies
• my interests
• sometimes, my friends and those I trust
• my stress levels
• hormones, enough said
• my capacity for bullshit

*This is not a comprehensive list.

Maybe others aren’t intentionally blatantly lying to you, but avoiding the truth for themselves. They try to maintain a sense of normalcy, but in the process they make it look like we’re all expected to carry on Girl Bossing as if nothing has changed. But everything has.

I’ve been doing a series on Instagram Stories, typically on my 1 working day each week. A couple of weeks ago, someone asked me for techniques to manage stress and maintain productivity. Because Mom Stress is real. I’ve experience it. You probably have too.

Mom Stress sneaks up on you

Some days my watch tells me I’m having a rough go, even though I think I’m doing okay. I’m genuinely shocked because things seem to be going smoothly for the typical work juggle, keeping babies fed and happy, the house fairly tidy, etc. But I think that when we become moms, our thresholds for normal change. I can do so much on weeks of 4-5 hours of broken sleep now, but before babies? You can’t channel the same energy like you can when you’re a mom.

Note: This isn’t to promote pushing harder and not taking care of yourself. I’m just acknowledging the reality that things aren’t going to be easy when you’re in this season. You can still take steps to reclaim space and take care of yourself. But we’re also realistic around here—these things don’t happen overnight.

We don’t want the Mom Stress to win though. I believe we can be the mothers we want to be AND build careers—businesses—we love.

Work-life balance as a mom

I read an article today. It talks about the need to reframe the phrase from “work-life balance” to one that places life first. So instead, this article proposes we say life-work balance. In this format, life becomes the priority, and work is the way we support that ideal life.

It’s probably obvious that I love this reframe and wholeheartedly agree. I talk about work-life integration because I think that the two can support each other in a harmony versus pushing and pulling against each other. But regardless of what we want to call it, we need to know what we’re working towards.

Productivity, to me, is getting things done in work and life—in my business and for my family—in a way that feels good. It can be hard work, yes. But I don’t want it to feel like a constant battle.

Flow. Ease.

This is the hardest work I’ve ever done—the most challenging juggle I’ve ever tried. But it’s worth it. It needs to be worth it.

My top Stress-Free Productivity Habits

I often talk about habits, and share my productivity habits versus “tips.” This is because I think habits are more about developing systems you can stick with. Realistic, impactful changes that can get incrementally better over time.

Everyone and their mother has a theory around habits.

• James Clear has a strategy for how to build habits that stick.
• Harvard Business Review explains what it takes to build habits.
• Meditation apps and productivity coaches alike talk about their preferred methods to start and maintain healthier habits.

You can pick what method works best for you considering your current circumstances.

Habits also feel better for me over hard and fast rules. It’s less about checking things off a list that don’t feel aligned, and more about making intentional decisions to be a certain kind of person who acts a specific way until I don’t need to think twice about showing up as that person.

It’s a matter of who you are versus how much you do.

That’s what this list is founded on.

Things I do for myself that allow stress-free productivity

My list of how I maintain stress-free productivity as a mom, looks a lot like this list of how to stay healthy. Because that’s what it comes down to. When I’m aiming for work-life integration, and I want to be able to show up in my work and my life, for myself and my family, I need to start by taking care of myself.

Here are some key habits I’ve developed for stress-free productivity as a mom:

Prioritizing self-care

I make time for activities that recharge me, even if it’s just 10 minutes a day. And even if it’s only most of the time. I have a “Feel Good Menu” in my Notion account. It’s a list of things I like to do, organized by the amount of time I have available. This removes the decisions from the process of doing things for myself during the day.

Embracing imperfection

Letting go of the need to do everything perfectly and focusing on progress over perfection. I aim for intentional actions 80% of the time because I know not every day will play out as planned, and that’s okay. You’re not failing on the bad days. Those days might not even be bad… Just different than your expectations. You just need to learn how to let shit go. I know it’s hard. I get it, but you need to in order to stop holding yourself back.

Revisit the vision

When you’re busy and pulled in multiple directions, it’s hard to stay focused on your vision. For this reason, I check in with my goals and vision at least weekly to stay connected to them. I also write my top 3 priorities at the top of my to-do list so I see that reminder every day. What am I doing and why? ← that needs to be front and center.

Work habits for stress-free productivity

The above are more focused on lifestyle habits. But there are things I do in work too in order to maintain stress-free productivity.

Here’s a few:

Time blocking

Dedicating specific chunks of time to different tasks or activities. I know that with my 1 work day each week, I’m going to do the things that require my focused attention without interruptions. Versus the smaller tasks I can do in the windows of our life throughout the week.

Meeting windows

I schedule meeting weeks and meeting-free weeks. I don’t have meetings every week, and this balance has made a huge difference in not only my productivity, but my scheduling. It’s so much easier to plan around things when I know I’m going to have a meeting-heavy week and one that’s wide open. It also makes it easier to schedule vacations!

Automation

I automate anything possible. I love to find new ways to automate or systemize steps in my overall business and specific workflows. The less busywork you do, the more productive you can be on the efforts that make a real difference. For example, my client onboarding process is fairly automated.

Other habits that help me with stress-free productivity

There’s a bucket of “other things” that don’t quite fall into either category. That’s what this list is!

Limit screentime to lower stress

I have a set of rules for myself that I know I need to follow if I want to feel good. There’s things like movement, getting enough water, and general care habits. But one notable thing that’s helped my productivity is my limits around screentime.

You won’t see me on Instagram between the hours of 8pm and 8am. It’s not good for me, so I don’t do it. I already have odds stacked against me with a toddler and a baby, so I don’t need to add something else to the mix in the form of doom-scroll induced comparison.

Remove things from your to-do list

There’s a couple lessons you need to learn when you are a working mom: Some shit really doesn’t need to happen. And your to-do list will never end, so stop trying to finish it. You’re setting yourself up for failure if you refuse to do either.

When I say it doesn’t need to happen, I mean remove those things entirely. People always talk about how you need to delegate more, but often there’s things lingering that no one needs to do. It’s just ideas that make you busy. It’s more of a matter of prioritizing better versus delegating more.

What stress-free productivity looks like in action

The day I’m drafting this, it’s my 1 work day. I woke up at 6:30 with the babies. After getting them out of bed and into their playroom, I got myself ready for a workout. Made their breakfast while they played. It worked out well to have a quick connection call with a colleague who is presenting in my mastermind tomorrow at the same time. Multi-tasking works when you’re doing things like this!

The babies had breakfast while I made coffee, tidied the kitchen, and looked at my to-dos for the day. My parents showed up to help out as the babies were finishing eating.

With them taken care of, I got to the basement for a 30 minute bodypump workout. An everything shower, another nursing session, and I packed my bags to go. Hopped on a coaching call for a program I’m part of while walking to the local coffee shop to grab myself breakfast and another coffee. That inspired a ton of ideas, and now here we are.

I’m in flow, focused, and excited about the to-dos on my list for the rest of the day. This is what stress-free productivity looks like for me.

I’ve had a nagging feeling of anxiety the last few days though. That’s why I chose to prioritize myself before digging into work. I could have gone straight to my desk when the grandparents showed up, but I knew I needed that time to move my body first. Endorphins. Then I knew I’d feel better if I got ready. Hair, outfit, makeup. The whole thing.

You can’t be productive if you’re in a slump, or worrying, or are burnt out.

How to channel stress free productivity when you’re feeling frazzled

Something I’ve noticed through my coaching work is that many people feel like they’re missing the plot when actually they’re on track to achieve their goals. The real block is a disconnect between what they’re doing and who they want to be, so they feel ungrounded. I shared my grounding rituals recently. These are a series of flexible routines or fluid steps I can follow as needed to ground myself, regardless of when or where I need to use them. so helpful in times when I’m feeling pulled in different directions.

The role routines play in stress-free productivity

I recently shared the routines that help me in my work and life. Overall, I need flexible routines in this season. I never know what my days are going to look like, mostly because I don’t know what my nights will be like. How many times will the baby wake? ← that decides a lot of the productivity for the following day.

There’s routines and rituals you can leverage for anything. For example, I have a series of routines that help me balance work and life as a stay at home mom. And another flow I follow when returning to work after maternity leave, or some other kind of extended time away.

Implement foundational strategies to work in alignment

All of these productivity habits won’t truly stick without knowing where you’re going, and how you work best. That’s where Align & Integrate comes in. This resource shows you how to design a personal action plan to achieve your ideal work-life integration. Learn more here.