Let’s talk about human beings—not just the numbers

I didn’t do keyword research for this. It wasn’t part of my quarterly content strategy. There was no planning. It’s being posted without any real editing on a Friday instead of a Wednesday… We’re doing it live.

I’m simply responding to the trend I’ve seen online the last month, which has 2 parts:

1. Major online business industry players and perceived-established business owners announcing their plans for big changes. Sabbatical leave from work; scrapping signature services and launching something entirely new; or quietly getting a day job sometime over the last few months and just coming up for air to share the news now.
2. Others pushing full hustle ahead into the holidays with swipeable recaps of their year in the numbers: How many clients booked, dollars collected, record months recorded, meeting hours clocked on Zoom, ad dollars spent, words written and websites launched. It appears to be business as usual, but we know these are highlight reels.

The recap that’s missing from all this? There’s a few angles I’d rather take.

👉 One that talks about our clients as human beings, not just numbers.

👉 One that unapologetically allows for seasons where we do less versus more.

👉 One that admits the gray area so many of us have lived in the last 12 months.

Based on conversations I’ve had with friends and clients, and reading between the lines of the above latest trends… Most have landed somewhere in the middle this year. 2023 turned out weird AF. High highs. Low lows. A sprinkle of boredom, loss of direction, and borderline burnout. And we’re all just trying to figure out what happens next.

I’ve been in the weeds of my own brain too—simultaneously appreciating and rethinking everything I’ve worked so hard to build.

The big question: What are the next steps for me? The big event looming is birthing baby 2 while restructuring my business to allow for the flexibility that 2 under 2 requires.

And that involves some realignment work, so that everything I choose to do post maternity leave lights me the f*ck up. Because I’ve personally evolved and I want my limited desk hours to be dedicated to clients and projects that feel like meaningful work.

Hard stop.

So this post is my reflections and thoughts—not in numbers. It’s a recap of how the human beings I worked with this year grew, and how I got to witness that with a front row seat.

On working less, but making more

I’m transparent about the fact that for the last 18 months, I’ve worked a max of 15 hours each week on average while setting revenue goals higher.

Lately, I’m not the only one on the world wide web talking about how to work less and make more. It seems like this became the latest trend in the online-girl-boss-but-don’t-call-us-girl-bosses (because we’re real bosses) Instagram world. We’re all tired AF (even though most don’t want to publicly admit that) and looking for alternatives.

But I do think that my approach is different.

I know this because my mission isn’t to scale at all costs with the limited time and energy we have, and my clients have shared how relieving that is.

The goal is to scale in a way that feels aligned to you, while building within the available compartments juggled between all your responsibilities. You get to design your ideal work-life integration, and you decide the benchmarks to measure your progress. This mission is about working with integrity—but also smarter instead of harder—so your business makes a bigger impact. Then you can live more too.

Let’s talk about judgment labeled as “accountability”

I recognize the need to take breaks. There are seasons in life and in business, and the people I’m coaching don’t need someone who makes them feel bad if there’s a stretch where they can’t check every goal off their list. I’m not here for misplaced judgment disguised as “accountability” and sold to you at a premium.

One of my mastermind clients shared exactly this sentiment with me this week, and it’s one of the best compliments I could receive on the work that I try so hard to do well. “Thank you for not making me feel judged because I didn’t do what I said I was going to do.”

That’s literally my job as a coach and mastermind facilitator. ☝️

While yes, I obviously love to hear when my clients 3x their revenue, exceed their goals by $38k, and book out their services months in advance (real wins)… I love it more knowing that they feel supported regardless of what season they’re in.

Because this journey comes in waves. If you’ve worked in this world longer than a year and you’re on a downswing, I bet you’ve been here before. When you take a step back and remove your self-worth from your current situation, you probably can recognize that the balance will shift back soon… If you ride the wave and let it.

There are seasons where I can’t check every goal off my list. Especially lately—I’m in my third trimester with baby 2 and spend the majority of my time raising a high-energy toddler. Expecting my clients to continuously push themselves beyond what’s reasonable wouldn’t be authentic to the reality I’m leading by example.

But the problem I see with our industry as a whole is that we’re constantly in a race for more.

You didn’t do the work? You’re a failure.

You didn’t see results? You weren’t ~~~hIgH ViBe~~~ enough to manifest it.

Bigger numbers every month.

More clients every year.

Then post a swipeable recap on Instagram to show everyone how successful you are… Even if you know that you desperately need a nap.

It’s giving hustle culture I thought we agreed we’re all against years ago, but disguised as motivation this time.

No shame—I’m guilty of leaning into the highlights sometimes too heavily too. The point is to try to create space for ourselves and others to admit the gray.

Work like ours can’t be summarized in a carousel post

It’s more complicated than the carousel posts filling our feeds make it seem lately. Those 2 trends that inspired all this rambling meet in a middle ground. A median where I bet most people sit right now. Everyone wants a peek behind the curtain to see what’s really going wrong, but I wonder if we’re asking the wrong questions and searching for validation in the wrong answers.

Lately, I’ve been asked things like: “How big is your team?” and “What are your plans for maternity leave this time?”

And those are hard questions to measure up to because the answer is it’s complicated. Especially if you’re a woman in the thick of growing, birthing, and raising tiny humans. Every day is different.

No wonder so many of us are perfectionists and our own worst critics.

My client wins—not just the numbers.

This year, I’ve had the opportunity to work with clients in a few different capacities: Through my done-for-you copywriting and marketing studio; via private 1:1 coaching; and within my mastermind program which is a hybrid of 1:1 coaching and consulting combined with our intimate community.

For the sake of the message I’m trying to communicate here, I’m going to focus on the wins that those I’ve coached specifically have seen.

With my support, my clients have done a lot of cool sh*t this year…

✨ Identified what they really want from their business, and how that can support their ideal life.

✨ Optimized offers to fit into their life instead of doing the same old thing that everyone else is doing just because they’re doing it.

✨ Took extended breaks that didn’t impact their overall annual revenue: Multiple days, weeks, and even a month at a time.

✨ Carved out and gifted themselves with space to develop personally… This is important because our type of businesses are so tightly wound within ourselves.

✨ Learned and implemented positive boundaries and business building habits that will support them now and long-term.

✨ Learned and practiced using repeatable tools that allow them to uncover answers within themselves.

✨ Burned sh*t down and rebuilt with ease—faster and better with the resources, tools, and habits to support accelerated growth.

✨ Started the journey to detach their personal value from their business’ monthly revenue.

✨ Shifted their perspective to think bigger than monthly numbers (or numbers in general) when planning next steps.

✨ Gave themselves permission to want more, then let the path there be easy.

There’s so much more I could add to this list, but you get the gist of it. I think acknowledging the median and celebrating the wins that are more impactful than dollar signs on a Stripe account is important when wrapping up a year as wild as this past one.

Detaching your worth from your business’ revenue

Disclaimer: I’m obviously not a life coach or a licensed mental health professional, and I encourage all my clients to seek that kind of support where they need it.

I know what it feels like to identify with your business so closely that it becomes the core measure of your worth as a human being… It leads to a pretty sh*tty feeling when things don’t work out as you meticulously planned.

Based on the trends of the annual recaps over the last few weeks, I’m sensing that others are feeling the weight of their business-based identity. That’s why it’s so difficult to admit the gray exists.

Personally, I started working on this detachment a few years ago, but it got easier since having my son. Arguably I’m still on this journey (asking questions like who am I really?), just now my identity is split between more roles than before. But I can confirm that releasing yourself from the results of your business is a relief like no other, and something I actively try to support my clients to do as well.

You have to let go and learn that so-called failures are just lessons.

Things need to happen a certain way so you can get to the spot where you’re supposed to be in the end.

And when you push harder or try to work more to squeeze yourself into the neat and tidy boxes you drew for yourself at the beginning of the year instead of letting what needs to happen actually happen… You won’t go anywhere fast.

The easiest wins in my business have been the times where I let it be easy.

My wins from 2023

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading my rambling and mostly unfiltered thoughts. Because I know we’re all nosey, I’ll share some wins for myself before wrapping up.

It was a big year of personal growth… Again. Again, I feel like an entirely different person on the other side. For context, I started 2022 pregnant, then ended it as a mom and that transition is f*cking wild to say the least. I started 2023 thinking I was getting the hang of this business building while momming thing, got pregnant again, and readjusted my standards… again.

So my biggest wins are beyond the numbers too:

Continued the journey of detaching myself from my business.

Started growing another human.

Moved across the country while growing that human and raising a toddler.

Started over learning the lesson of letting go of pushing more.

Practiced flexibility and patience live never before.

Leaned into the fact that I can’t control everything.

Clocked my business’s biggest revenue months and lowest work hour weeks.

Learned to be okay with “sh*tty” months in the mix too while managing life..

Launched a mastermind that immediately became the thing I’m most excited about.

Sold the first spot to the next cohort—7 months in advance.

Grew my YouTube channel, which is a practice in imperfect creativity..

Grew a garden for my own enjoyment even though I knew I might not get to see the harvest.

Not a shabby list at the end of the day, and I’m so excited to see what happens next. Right after I take a nap because I’m not afraid to admit that doing all of the above has been exhausting in all the best ways.

Why not savour the gray?

I think the point to all this is to acknowledge that even if this year didn’t shape up exactly how you wanted it to or how you planned… It might be exactly what you needed. And there’s beauty in that even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

You needed to experience what you did and learn these lessons because you need to be here at this exact moment. Reading this post. Reflecting on how far you’ve come and where you want to go. My guess is there’s a lot of things you’d do differently next time, and you can. So cheers to 2024 being the year that we all stop doing sh*t we don’t want to do, and go all in on the hell YESSES that come from that space.

Whatever that looks like for you.

If you want to join me and an intimate, supportive community of others on the same mission, check out The Inner Circle Mastermind. Excited to hear from you. 🤍